The Place of the In-Laws! By Pastor Faith Oyedepo Topic: The Place of the In -Laws!
The Place of the In-Laws!
By Pastor Faith Oyedepo
Topic: The Place of the In -Laws!
Dear Reader,
I feel delighted to welcome you again to
this superb column. What I will be
focusing on this month is what I call: “The
Place of In-Laws.” As you follow with rapt
attention, you shall experience a turning
point in your marriage in Jesus’ precious
name!
Most of the challenges we see in many
homes today are not directly between the
wife and her husband, but between the
in-laws and one of the spouses. Members
of your extended family are your relations,
not members of your immediate family.
Priorities need to be ordered right.
The number one rule that is of relevance
here is that, as a born-again Christian,
you owe your in-laws a godly attitude –
as to everyone else. This doesn’t
disregard the veracity that if your in-laws
are “difficult” people, controlling and
manipulative or don’t share your faith,
this may be a particularly hard challenge.
Certainly, your in-laws are not just
anyone; they’re connected to your spouse
through a psychological dynamics. So, if
you have any form of disagreement with
your in-laws, your spouse may feel
caught in the middle of his/her parents
and you.
If, for instance, you sense that your in-
laws are interfering in your marriage, the
old saying, “Good fences make good
neighbours,” may apply. So, in conformity
with your spouse, set coherent
boundaries such that your spouse will
kindly and firmly insist that your in-laws
respect.
God’s Word says: Honor thy father and
thy mother: that thy days may be long
upon the land which the LORD thy God
giveth thee (Exodus 20:12). That is to say,
honouring one’s parents necessitates
showing them love, patience, kindness,
gentleness and respect. This is applicable
to in-laws, too. So, you are obliged to
choose to act in a loving manner toward
them.
For instance, you might decide to adopt
their tradition – if it’s not really against
your faith; and despite the fact that you
don’t really admire it, do it for the sake of
peace. Fully partaking in family events is
also relevant, even if you have to create
time out of none to do that.
Remember, once you are married, you
have automatically become part of
another family with its own set of
prospects. Therefore, you need to be
familiar with and reverence those within
limits.
Briefly, let’s examine three limits that
honouring your in-laws do not mean:
First, it doesn’t necessitate “conforming”
to all their “parental” requirements which
in some cases, some in-laws may get
pretty fanatical.
Second, it doesn’t entail that you must
permit them to disrepute, control or
influence you for their own self-centred
motives.
Third, it doesn’t require that you inundate
all your own feelings, desires, preferences
and needs in the service of “doing things
their way.”
In-law discrepancies often grow more
intimidating when a spouse seems to take
sides with his or her parents and against
his or her partner. The partner may feel
“ganged up on.”
This isn’t so much an in-law’s problem
as a marital one. There’s nothing more
devastating in marriage than for either
partners in marriage to be tied to the
apron strings of his/her parents. For
every small decision to be taken in the
home, he or she says, “I am going home,”
because he never left home in the first
place.
Don’t let your relationship with your in-
law erode your marriage further. Do the
healthy thing required of you to give your
in-laws their place in your home.
Until you are born again, you cannot
effectively acknowledge the place of your
in-laws. You get born again by confessing
your sins and accepting Jesus as your
Lord and Saviour. If you are set for this,
please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus
Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.
Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me
with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and
satan to serve the living God. I accept You
as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child
of God today. Thank You for accepting me
into Your Kingdom.”
If you prayed this simple prayer, you are
now a child of God. He loves you and will
never leave you. Read your Bible daily,
obey God’s Word and seek Christian
fellowship (John 14:21).
Congratulations! You are now born again!
All-round rest and peace are guaranteed
you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and
share your testimonies with me through
contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR
07026385437 and 08141320204.
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